Kawin...

It seems that Ice has been "kawin" with her boyfriend. Kawin is what they do here when they can't afford to get married. Basically they move in together. Her family and his family had talks. His family admitted that they wouldn't be able to pay the dowry for a marriage but that they could manage to pay the dowry for "kawin". Ice would dearly love to get married, but she's realistic (plus she feels that as a woman her opinion is of no value and that she must just do what the men in the family say). So far her "husband's" family has not paid the dowry. Not sure what the holdup is. In a situation like this, the couple is not supposed to have any children until the dowry is paid. Hmmm.... who's gonna control that??? Should they have children without the dowry being paid, the children belong to her family and he has no rights to them whatsoever.
So why didn't they just wait until the dowry was paid? Well, it turns out that this guys' older brother also had his heart set on Ice, in spite of the fact that he has already been married and has two children. His wife left him a while ago and lives with someone else. Ice has no interest in this fellow and decided that it would probably be best to let him know very clearly, sooner rather than later, that he has no chance. Turns out, Ice's sister, who is actually married but not living with her husband, likes this older brother.... What a soap opera...!!
I really wish that they would perform some sort of ceremony when a couple is "kawin". I think it would be good for the couple to promise in front of the members of their church and their pastor, that they will be faithful to eachother, just as you would in a marriage ceremony. The thing here is that the people really want to have the whole package. Ritha was actually kawin with her husband for 10 years before they actually got married in church. The "whole package" means, they want to wear the special clothes-he a dark suit with white gloves, she a white dress, they want to have the big party with lots of food and of course there is the government paperwork that has to be filed which also carries some fees with it.
One can still see the clinging to the old ways in spite of the fact that they have the Bible to guide them in their lives. But the truth is that we do the same in many things as well. Just maybe not such dramatic things...