Ritha, my wonderful sometimes helper and always friend, is going through a rough time of things right now. Her younger sister has been dating a guy for about a year now. This guy actually has a job with one of the mission aviation groups here and doesn't smoke and doesn't get drunk. He is a member of the same people group and church as Violetta. But they are not ready to get married yet. Violetta would like to finish her schooling first. Now Ritha and Violetta's mom lives here now. She was living in Wamena, but has decided to settle down here. She took her youngest son with, Josef who is 15, and he lives with Ritha and Violetta and contributes to their household with his earnings from yard work. The three of them work hard, study hard and are committed believers. For some reason, their mother has decided that Violetta and her guy need to either get married now or break up. From what I understand, in either situation, she would get money.... It seems that that would be her primary motivation... sadly... And for some reason, she doesn't seem to like this guy. Ritha supports her sister and was arguing with her mother about the whole situation when her mother yells at her, "What do you have to say? You're not even Violetta's sister!" What??? It turns out that Violetta and Josef have a different father than Ritha. I've always wondered why Violetta and Josef look so much alike and Ritha so different... In additiona, Ritha and Violetta were raised by people not their parents! Ritha's mom was her dad's second wife and they got divorced and he went back to his first wife... I think that makes the picture a little clearer... What right does this woman have to try to arrange her daughters life? In this culture, both families need to agree on a marriage in order for it to happen. It really doesn't matter what the couple in love thinks... Please remember these girls in your prayers. They really are wonderful women and a great example to all around them!

Ice and her boyfriend would like to get married. Ice's dad and uncles would like her to get married. But Ice's boyfriends family is not that wealthy and say that they can only pay the dowry for kawin. Kawin is when a couple moves in together. This is a lot cheaper for the families and in the event of a separation, no legal paperwork is necessary. Very convenient. Ice herself and her boyfriend have discussed together that they would only like to be married once in their lives. Ice has no desire to divorce like her mother did twice. I actually showed her from the Bible how God does not like divorce and other advice given by Paul regarding marriage.
Marriage here is not the sacred pact with the couple and God that it should be. People divorce, or move out, and move on rather easily. If they aren't having babies with one partner, they move on and hope another will give them children (for example). As you can imagine, and have seen in our own country, this creates a lot of mixed and broken families.