Sadness

Today my fabulous helper, Ibu Rita, at the age of 27, became a widow. Her husband was killed when he was hit by a truck while riding a motorcyle. They had been married around 10 years or so. Theirs was an arranged marriage, probably some funds exchanged hands, when Rita was in her late teens. They have two girls, Awi who is 8 and Rode who just turned 5. After Hugo came home from work I went down to Rita's house to pay my respects. I wasn't sure what to expect. In front of the house there were already two tents set up. Under one tent a group of men were busy building a coffin out of plywood. Under the other tent were chairs set up and you could sit there if you wanted. There were already some flower covered signs out. They make those signs for things like store openings or deaths etc... I removed my shoes and entered the house. I saw the body in the middle of the living room on a narrow pallet on the floor. Around the room were women just sitting quietly. Rita's younger sister sat at the foot end of the body and moaned while rubbing the legs. The body was wrapped in sarongs up to the nose and his jaw was tied shut. I looked for Rita but did not see her. I went to the doorway to the kitchen and she came as someone had let her know I was there. We hugged for what seemed like forever. But it was like she wasn't there. Rita was in a mourning zone. She was very hot like she had a fever and as she moved away from me she gestured towards the body and said,"I told him to wait!" Then she sat at the head end of the body and began to moan along with her sister. She caressed his head and sometimes spoke to him saying things like,"Why did you go?", or, "It's time to eat, wake up!". Then she lay next to him and continued to moan. She was obviously exhausted. And everyone just quietly sat there. There were some women who looked genuinely sad and others looked like they were just there because it's what you do. There was obviously no thought given to time or food or other such practicalities. This was simply a time to mourn. I of course, being a western person, was checking my watch to make sure that I didn't leave too late as it was supper time. Strangely I did not want to leave Rita. It felt disrespectful for me to leave while she continued to mourn, but of course I had to. Also because it was getting closer to 6:00 and at 6:00 on the dot it gets very dark here and I didn't want to walk home by myself in the dark. There is to be a service at her house tomorrow morning at 9:00 and following that the burial. Because of the heat here, things have to be done quickly.